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The Universe IS a Thing: How do I Know? (Read to End)

I’ve become sort of obsessed with the idea of a universe, and the notion that there is some invisible hand guiding us towards where we are meant to be. I recently listened to a podcast in which a woman was struggling with fertility, and she lay very still one day, crying, and she asked the universe to send her a sign, any sign, that she was on the right path in her life. It didn’t happen immediately, but later that day, she was sitting at her desk and saw a flock of wild turkeys. They were all over her lawn. She took a moment to notice and looked up what the wild turkey is a symbol of, and guess what? It’s a symbol of fertility! She knew, in that instance, the universe responded to her plea, and she was on the right path.

Okay, for you skeptics, stop laughing, and, no, I have not lost it! I decided, though, I would just try this for myself. I stood very still on my walk after hearing the podcast, and I closed my eyes. My head was tilted up towards the sky, and I said, “Universe, please send me a sign I’m on the right path.” I said this quietly, in a whisper, so a passersby would not think I was a complete freak.

And, you know what happened?

I got a sign! (Well, I think…).

Oh, hello.

When I got home from that walk, I was in my backyard, and I saw something in the baby pool. It was a cricket! And it was drowning. I reached into the water, held the cricket, and let it go. It was safe. I then looked up what the cricket is a symbol of:

“If the cricket crosses your path, it is a symbol of good luck and fortune, so you don’t have to worry for your future. You have worked hard and now it is time to make all your dreams come true. The cricket as your spirit animal will protect you and it will bring joy into your life.”

The cricket is a sign of exceptional luck! I was reassured that I was on the right path. The only issue, and tell me what you think: does it mean something that it was drowning? So, then, I had to look this up, and it said:

“Because of the water, drowning depicts fear of being overwhelmed by difficult emotions or anxieties,”

So, yeah, I think the cricket was reassuring me and mitigating any worries I have about my life in its present state, which is a little unsettling at this time that I’m not working, other than focusing on my writing.

I suggest you, too, try this exercise. Keep your heart and eyes open for the rest of the day to take notice. Let me know what you find in the comments!

P.S. THIS IS CRAZY: I finished writing that sentence, and I saw something coming towards me on my dining room table. And, get this: it’s a ladybug! On my table. Oh my God. It’s on my computer now! I am freaking out. Here is the photo:

Let me see what that means.

What Do Ladybugs Symbolize?

Whether you meet the ladybug in reality or in a dream, it is generally considered a symbol of good luck and happiness.

  • The main meanings of the ladybug are:
  • Good fortune
  • Innocence
  • True love
  • Importance of lightness
  • Changes, even metamorphosis
  • Divine intervention
  • Going beyond illusion
  • A happy resolution to a hassle
  • The miraculous at play in the everyday life
  • The importance of staying alert to avoid pitfalls
  • The need to know yourself well to make the right life choices

WOW! Okay, go try this, guys. Oh, and I guess I’m lucky! Stay tuned!

That was weird! There is a universe…

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Welcoming Unwelcome Feelings

Sometimes I wake up in this awful shame cycle and think, “I’d be better off if I just locked myself in a basement.” Does that happen to you? Like, you do something or say something and realize you are really not fit for society? Initially, I woke up today feeling that angst and did everything I could to recalibrate and combat that feeling, like go on my new elliptical machine for 45 minutes while watching reality TV, walking my dogs, and now writing. But, I think, as the poet Rumi suggested, maybe I should just welcome this feeling and sit with it, because it may bring me guidance.

Do you ever feel like this?

In his poem The Guest House, Rumi uses uses the image of a guest house as a metaphor that each day is an opportunity to experience something new in our lives, even if it’s unexpected, and each feeling should be welcomed, no matter how unpleasant. We must welcome these “guests,” or feelings of happiness and joy as well as shame and depression. In treating these visitors with equal respect and courage, no matter how unwelcome the feelings are, we can learn from them, and perhaps use them to navigate moving forward.

Okay, so I am sitting here now, welcoming these feelings…and eating pretzels #truth. That is one thing I feel gross about: I ate like 9,000 carbs yesterday, including hot pretzel nuggets with cheese and, that’s not all, it was followed by a bowl of pasta. That’s so not on the diet. However, I did run 7 miles, so maybe that’s allowed! Don’t runners maul pasta before a race? Okay, so I did it afterwards, with a glass of wine…maybe not a tip in Women’s Fitness magazine.

I also can over-share. I do this like every day. I mean, I guess being a blogger, you need to share yourself. If I didn’t write anything personal, it would not resonate with readers. I so envy those who wear their cards close to the vest: the keen listeners and observers who probably never leave a party and think, “Wait, WHY did I say that?!”

So, on the flip side, here I am criticizing myself AGAIN, adding to the shame cycle, which I should in fact be instead welcoming. What can I learn from that? I guess to shut my yapper? Become a different person? I like myself though! I just wish I could be myself, but alone in the basement. I care too much about what others think.

Who are your “house guests” today? Please leave a comment. Oh, and if you don’t know the poem, here it is:

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

— Jellaludin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks

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BEWARE! Of my Life… (Scary Image Included)

Last night, the kids were terrorized! They went on the swing set in the backyard in the pitch-black. They had flashlights and wanted to do a “scary night walk.” Well, they got their wish and then some when they were, in fact, scared to death and screaming after spotting this horrible looking carcass stuck in our outdoor shower! Does anyone know what this is?? Squirrel? Rabbit? Oh, and when I went to photograph it this morning, I was so nervous that I dropped my phone, and I think it touched the skeleton head. ICK.

What even is this???
Can you see the little flashlights in center? I took this of them on the swings last night.

In other news, my daughter caught her first False Albacore! She went fishing with her dad, and I was so happy he included her this time. She recited the names of all the fish she knows during a game of Barbies with me last night: “Okay, mommy, there are False Albacore, Tuna, Striped Bass, Bluefish, Fluke, Flounder…” She’s a regular salty dog! She held the fish for a photo, like all those men do on Facebook, so she, too, could have her day in the fisherman sun, if there is such a thing… Oh, and I guess she’s a fisherwoman? Or fisher-girl? She’s not the Fisher King. Remember that movie with Robin Williams? Aw, I loved him. Good flick, too!

It is officially Labor Day weekend here on Cape Cod, a time when the year-rounders often rejoice to reclaim the beaches and avoid traffic. However, those are days of yore, because people are staying now that they can work remotely and go to school online. I guess my wish to have a “Forever Summer” has finally been granted! Oh, and we got an email last night from the superintendent, and it turns out that the first actual full day of school for the kids here is October 13! I mean, the CHRISTMAS DECOR is out at Target and CVS by then. So much for back-to-school shopping. I might buy some pencils AND a new ornament and tree skirt!

Here is this year’s tree. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it? I used the branches to make fires in my fire pit.

Oh, and this happened…my son asked me to get the plunger….This is never a good thing. So, I asked why, and he told me the toilet was clogged, because–get this: he threw a NECTARINE CORE in it. I mean, really??? Like, who thinks that is a good idea? Here is what it looked like before I had to manhandle it and get it out.

SERIOUSLY??

Last, but not least, I am 35 today! (er…) I am so excited, because my son told me I actually look ten years younger since I lightened my hair and cut it! Now that I have no job, I actually have time to go to the hair salon, since it honestly takes three hours (I timed it both times). #silverliningofpenury

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I Want Some Answers!

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Today, I want answers. I want answers to the following questions regarding things that happened to me:

1. When my ADT home alarm system is faulted, and I can’t fix it myself over the phone with them, why must I pay for the labor costs for a technician to come out to repair it? I mean, it’s by no fault of mine that it doesn’t work, so why do I have to assume the costs to fix it? Makes no sense.

2. Why are there very few remote job opportunities now when people are actually mostly only working remotely? I have been perusing Indeed, Glass Door, Linked In, etc., and the remote work opportunities are few and far between. Oh, and I’m like candidate 154, if there is one.

3. How many times can I explain that I don’t get unemployment, because I quit, and I don’t qualify for pandemic assistance? Just curious. I get tired of explaining, as if I didn’t look into those options myself.

4. Ew, why am I so belligerent right now? Ha!

5. The song my son keeps singing, which he has titled “Poop Under the Covers,” and really only has those four words repeatedly…does it mean something? Is there some hidden meaning, or just hidden poop under his covers?

6. Can we really not wear white in a week? I mean, who even made that up? I didn’t wear enough white this summer, and if we are just home and not going into work or school, who cares if we sneak in some white sweatpants?

7. Are Dunkin’ Coolatas made with real strawberries and fruit? If so, are the blue raspberry Coolatas then made from actual fluorescent blue raspberries? If these exist on some farm, I must see and pick for myself.

8. Is mail-in voting going to work? I sent in a ballot via mail. Did you?

9. When my daughter tells me she is exhausted because she had TWO play dates (insert screams)…do I feel bad? Um….

10. Why is only Season 3 of Siesta Key free, and the episodes before it are $17.99 if you want to catch up??

11.  My children don’t actually go back to the school till October in Massachusetts. Is this actually going to happen? And I can’t believe it’s September, and I have a whole other month of summer left home with them! How am I supposed to even get a job? Oh, and when they go back, it’s scattered half days: half-remote, half in-person. So, essentially, I have two young children, varying times of learning and drop offs and pick ups, but I’m supposed to also work. Go figure.

12. When I ask my son to help clear the dinner table, and he tells me, “It’s not 1982!” What does that even mean? Oh, PS-he was born in 2010. And, I mean, I guess, yes, in 1982, I was indeed helping my parents clear the table!

 

 

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Committing to a Good Day

Do you ever wonder when your to-do list will end? Will you ever get it all done? I have come to the conclusion that I will not. The dishwasher will always be full. Is that a metaphor for my glass is half-full and not half-empty? I sure hope so.

woman in gray sweater drinking coffee
My glass is half-full! This isn’t me, but I mean, maybe in my head.

There are so many things I need to get done in this house: paint the back, repair the basement sliding doors, get new floors, re-carpet the entire pee-stained rug in my daughter’s room. Okay, let’s be honest. I need to just get a match, light it, and start over here.

BUT! That is not the point! The point is I will NEVER get all of this done. My house will always need something! There will always be more I could do! Oh, and did I mention I have to go to Coinstar? With the amount of change we have collected, I will be able to  quell the nation’s coin shortage crisis while simultaneously buying $300 worth of groceries! Win-win! (Oh, right. I also need to go to the market).

IMG_2764
One of our coin jars.

Okay, so the point I’m trying to make is this– let’s go easy on ourselves. Let’s let ourselves off the hook, especially right now. These are not great times, and we need to be gentle to ourselves and our to-do lists. In fact, maybe we should burn those and just put one thing on the to-do list: Have a good day.

Right? Let’s just have a good day. Simple as that! Commit to the day that you will not berate yourself for ANYTHING. Commit to not committing. Wait, now I sound like a 28-year-old man who doesn’t want to get engaged.

Let’s be kind to ourselves today! I hope it’s a good one.

have a great day text beside white ceramic mug with coffee